Tips on how to Rework Your Inside Dialogue for Success & Nicely-Being

Di [email protected] Marzo 1, 2025 #Acceptance, #Achieve, #Acknowledge, #ACT, #Action, #Actions, #Activate, #Add, #Ads, #Affirmations, #Age, #AGI, #Aging, #Aka, #Ali, #Allen, #Alternative, #Amazing, #Anger, #Anne, #Anxiety, #Anxious, #App, #Apply, #Art, #Assure, #Attached, #Attention, #Avoid, #Awesome, #Bed, #Behavior, #Behaviors, #Belief, #Big, #Biggest, #Blue, #Blueprint, #Body, #Book, #Books, #Boost, #Boosting, #Boosts, #Bored, #bottom, #Brain, #Break, #Breaks, #Breakthroughs, #Breathing, #broke, #Build, #Building, #Burden, #Burdens, #Burn, #Burnout, #Business, #Call, #Calm, #Calmer, #Car, #Care, #Case, #challenge, #Challenges, #Change, #Changing, #Check, #Child, #Choice, #Choose, #Chronic, #Claiming, #class, #clear, #Coach, #Cognitive, #College, #Commitment, #Common, #Compassion, #Compete, #Complete, #Concern, #Condition, #Conditions, #Confidence, #Confident, #Connected, #connection, #Cons, #Conscious, #Consistency, #Constant, #Constructive, #CONTROL, #Courage, #craft, #Create, #Creates, #Creator, #Criticism, #Crushing, #Cycle, #Daily, #Dance, #Date, #Day, #Days, #Deal, #Dealing, #Deep, #Definition, #Deliberate, #Depending, #Design, #Desire, #Develop, #Developing, #Dialogue, #Die, #Dies, #Difference, #Direction, #Discover, #Don, #Dopamine, #Dos, #Doubt, #Dying, #Early, #Earn, #Ease, #Easier, #Easing, #Easy, #Eating, #Eats, #Ebook, #Edge, #Edit, #Effect, #Effective, #Effects, #Efficiency, #Effort, #Embrace, #Emotion, #Emotional, #Emotions, #Empower, #Empowered, #Empowering, #Empowerment, #Encourage, #Enhance, #Enterprise, #Errors, #Essential, #Establish, #Event, #Exam, #Examples, #Excellent, #Exercises, #Expect, #Expectations, #Experience, #Experiences, #Expert, #Extraordinary, #Fact, #Factors, #fail, #Failure, #Failures, #Fall, #Familiar, #Famous, #Fast, #Fault, #Favor, #Fear, #Fearful, #Feel, #Feeling, #Feelings, #feels, #Filter, #Firm, #Fix, #Fixed, #Focus, #FOLLOW, #Food, #Form, #Foundation, #Free, #Friend, #Fun, #gain, #Genuine, #Give, #Good, #Gratitude, #great, #Greatest, #Greatness, #Ground, #Grow, #Growing, #Growth, #Guide, #Guided, #Habit, #Habits, #Hard, #Harder, #Harness, #Hear, #Hell, #Helped, #Helping, #High, #Higher, #Highly, #Hold, #Hone, #Hormone, #Hours, #Hype, #Ice, #Ideas, #Ike, #Image, #Images, #IMMEDIATELY, #IMPACT, #Important, #Imposter, #improve, #Improving, #Increase, #Influence, #Insecurity, #Inspiration, #Inspire, #Inspired, #INSTANT, #Instantly, #Intelligence, #Interview, #Issue, #Issues, #Ive, #Jim, #Job, #Join, #Journal, #Journaling, #Judgment, #Keeping, #Key, #Kind, #Knowledge, #Lab, #labor, #Las, #Late, #Launch, #Law, #Lead, #Leads, #Learn, #Learning, #Led, #Legal, #legendary, #Lets, #Life, #Limitless, #Line, #Link, #List, #Logic, #Lot, #Love, #Lying, #Making, #Man, #Manage, #Management, #Master, #Matter, #Matters, #Meal, #Means, #Media, #Meditate, #Meditation, #Meet, #Men, #Mental, #Met, #Method, #Methods, #Min, #Mind, #Mindful, #Mindfulness, #Minds, #Mindset, #Mindvalley, #Mini, #mistake, #Mistakes, #MIT, #Model, #Motivation, #Move, #Narrative, #Nature, #Negative, #Negativity, #Neuroplasticity, #Number, #Ode, #Open, #OPTION, #Otto, #Ould, #Outcome, #Owner, #Pai, #Para, #Parent, #Part, #Pass, #Passion, #Path, #Patterns, #Pause, #Peak, #People, #Perception, #Perfect, #Perfectionism, #Performance, #Person, #Personal, #Perspective, #Pet, #Pete, #Physical, #Pick, #Picks, #Picture, #place, #Plan, #Point, #Points, #Pondering, #Poses, #Positive, #Post, #Power, #Powerful, #Practice, #Practices, #precise, #Prepare, #Present, #Press, #Pressure, #Prevent, #Principle, #PRINCIPLES, #Print, #Private, #Pro, #Problem, #Problems, #Process, #Profit, #Profitable, #Program, #Programming, #Progress, #Prompts, #Pros, #Proven, #Provide, #Proving, #Psychological, #Pure, #Push, #Put, #Quest, #question, #Questions, #Quick, #Quickly, #Quiet, #Quit, #Rain, #Raise, #RDs, #Read, #Ready, #Real, #Reality, #Reason, #Recognize, #Recognizing, #Red, #Reduce, #Reflection, #Reframing, #Reject, #Release, #Repair, #Repeating, #Research, #Reshaped, #Resilience, #Rest, #Results, #Reveals, #Ring, #Rise, #Risk, #Risks, #Rule, #Rules, #Run, #Ruth, #Sabotage, #Scale, #Sea, #Search, #Security, #Sell, #Serve, #SERVICE, #Services, #Session, #set, #Setting, #Shape, #Shapes, #share, #shared, #Shell, #Shift, #Shifting, #Show, #Shows, #Sickness, #Side, #Simple, #Sit, #Small, #Sole, #Solutions, #Solving, #Sound, #Speak, #SPEC, #special, #Spend, #Spiral, #Stand, #Stars, #Start, #started, #State, #Statement, #Stay, #step, #Steps, #Stop, #Strategies, #Strategy, #Strength, #Strengthen, #Stress, #Strong, #Stronger, #Struggling, #Stuck, #Study, #stuff, #Subconscious, #Succeed, #Success, #Successful, #Super, #Support, #Supportive, #Surprise, #Switch, #Syndrome, #table, #Talent, #Talk, #Teach, #Tech, #Technique, #Techniques, #Ted, #Telling, #Template, #Ten, #Test, #Therapy, #Thinking, #Thinks, #Thought, #Thoughts, #Thrive, #Tim, #Time, #Times, #tip, #Tips, #Told, #Toni, #Top, #Tough, #Transform, #Transformation, #Transforming, #TRAP, #Triggers, #True, #Truth, #Tuck, #Turn, #Turns, #Twenty, #TYPE, #Understand, #University, #Unleash, #Unlock, #Vanity, #Version, #VIDEO, #Visualization, #Voice, #Watch, #Ways, #Web, #Wellbeing, #Weve, #Williams, #Win, #Wired, #word, #Words, #Work, #Working, #Workout, #World, #Worth, #Write, #Writing, #Wrong, #Yoga, #YouTube

Tips on how to Rework Your Inside Dialogue for Success & Nicely-Being

“How would you speak for those who had unshakable confidence and enoughness?” asks Marisa Peer, the founder and creator of Speedy Transformational Remedy (RTT®), at Mindvalley College 2022. “What would that seem like? What wouldn’t it really feel like?”

Most individuals by no means cease to contemplate their self-talk. But it dictates every little thing—how they really feel, what they go after, and whether or not they spend their days constructing themselves up or quietly tearing themselves down.

A harsh internal monologue is like having a private heckler in your head. However a robust one? That’s the voice that will get issues completed.

So, in case your self-talk has been operating the present unchecked, it’s time for a rewrite. As a result of that voice in your head can both be your best asset… or your worst legal responsibility.

Table of Contents

What’s self-talk?

The “self-talk” definition, in a nutshell, is the operating commentary inside your head. It’s the fixed stream of ideas—some aware, some computerized—that shapes the way you see your self and the world. It may be encouraging, essential, reassuring, or downright vicious, relying on the habits your mind has constructed over time.

“The best way you are feeling is down to 2 issues,” says Marisa in her Mindvalley program, Speedy Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance, “the photographs you make in your head and the phrases you say to your self.”

Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D., the creator of over twenty books on self-talk and private progress, echoes the identical sentiment in his ebook, What to Say When You Speak to Your self. “The mind merely believes what you inform it most,” he writes. “And what you inform it about you, it is going to create. It has no selection.”

Analysis reveals that each thought you repeat strengthens neural pathways, reinforcing feelings and behaviors. The extra you inform your self one thing, irrespective of if it’s constructive or unfavorable, the extra your mind believes it and adjusts accordingly.

What’s extra, when your psychological chatter leans to the unfavorable—“I all the time mess up,” “Nobody cares what I’ve to say,” “I look fats”—your stress hormones like cortisol can spike up, carving deep psychological grooves that make self-doubt and anxiousness really feel like second nature.

Nonetheless, with deliberate effort, self-talk will be reshaped. Shifting your internal dialogue—swapping “I can’t” for “I’m figuring it out” or “I’m failing” for “I’m bettering”—triggers dopamine and serotonin, boosting motivation and well-being.

The best way you are feeling about every little thing comes right down to the photographs you make and the phrases you say.
— Marisa Peer, coach of Mindvalley’s Speedy Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program

That’s why it’s vital to take heed to the phrases you say and the ideas you assume. As Marisa says, “Each phrase you say is a blueprint that your thoughts, physique, and psyche wish to make a actuality.”

Constructive vs. unfavorable self-talk

As a result of the thoughts thrives on behavior, the kind of internal dialogue you default to can both construct resilience or reinforce self-doubt.

So what’s the true distinction between self-talk that lifts you up and the sort that holds you again? Let’s break it down.

	Constructive self-talk	Adverse self-talk
Mindset	Progress-oriented, sees challenges as alternatives	Fastened, assumes talents and conditions can’t change
Emotional influence	Boosts confidence, reduces stress	Will increase self-doubt, fuels anxiousness
Downside-solving	Focuses on options and studying	Magnifies issues, dwells on failure
Behavioral results	Encourages persistence and motion	Results in avoidance and hesitation
Mind chemistry	Will increase dopamine and serotonin, selling motivation	Raises cortisol, rising stress and fatigue
Self-Notion	Reinforces self-worth and functionality	Undermines confidence, reinforces low vanity and insecurity

Adverse self-talk: the way it holds you again

Adverse self-talk acts like psychological quicksand, trapping you in a cycle of doubt and concern. This inside dialogue rewires your mind to anticipate failure and stress.

There are just a few unfavorable self-talk examples, and right here’s how they maintain you again:

Sort	What it appears like	Psychological influence	The way it holds you again
Catastrophizing	“If I mess up, every little thing will crumble.”	Triggers anxiousness, floods the mind with stress hormones	Overestimates dangers, making you keep away from challenges
Perfectionism	“If it’s not flawless, I’ve failed.”	Creates power stress, results in burnout	Paralyzes progress, making you concern taking motion
Self-doubt	“I’m not adequate to do that.”	Lowers confidence, reinforces imposter syndrome	Stops you from pursuing alternatives or private progress
Filtering	“I solely see what went flawed.”	Will increase pessimism, suppresses motivation	Prevents studying from errors, retaining you caught
Personalization	“It’s all my fault.”	Results in guilt, pointless self-blame	Makes you carry burdens that aren’t yours

Repeating these thought patterns strengthens the mind’s connection to negativity. It’s self-sabotage, pure and easy, and it makes the patterns a lot tougher to interrupt.

As Dr. Helmstetter factors out, “Should you inform your self that you just can’t, what can the one consequence be?”

Tips on how to cease unfavorable self-talk and rework it into empowering dialogue

Adverse self-talk is sneaky. It runs within the background, shaping your mindset earlier than you even notice it.

This video breaks down how unfavorable self-talk takes maintain and why shifting it may well change every little thing.

Your self-talk issues. Right here’s why.

That is precisely what Dr. Helmstetter warns about when he says, “Should you do nothing to vary it, it not solely stays, it additionally will get progressively worse. It turns into part of your packages, and follows the principles below which your mind operates.”

Marisa shares this angle, saying, “Your phrases make your actuality. Should you don‘t like your actuality, change your phrases.” And she or he’s obtained some nice methods to reprogram the unconscious thoughts and shut down your internal critic.

1. Give your thoughts clear directions

“Your thoughts does what it thinks you need it to do,” Marisa explains. So if you say issues like, “I don’t wish to fail,” your mind focuses on the “fail” half.

The factor is, the mind takes extra effort to know unfavorable statements than constructive ones. And when it hears, “I don’t wish to fail this take a look at,” it picks up on the principle topic of the thought relatively than the negation connected to it.

For instance, if somebody says, “Don’t consider a pink elephant,” what instantly pops into your thoughts? A pink elephant. Regardless that the instruction was to not give it some thought, your mind needed to first think about it earlier than trying to suppress it.

For this reason reframing your self-talk in constructive, direct directions is so vital.

As a substitute of claiming, “I don’t wish to be nervous,” say, “I’m calm and assured.”

As a substitute of “I don’t wish to mess up,” say, “I carry out with ease.”

By specializing in what you do need relatively than what you don’t, you give your mind a transparent and constructive command to observe.

2. Make self-praise a behavior

Your mind is wired to desire what’s acquainted. If unfavorable pondering is your mind’s go-to, then it turns into your default setting.

Take into consideration how typically you set your self down. Possibly you mess up at work and instantly assume, “I’m so silly.”

If a pal made the identical mistake, would you say, “You’re so silly”? Unlikely. You’d in all probability reassure them. So why not deal with your self the identical manner?

“In case your thoughts’s job is to make your ideas actual, what’s your job?” Marisa poses. “Assume higher ideas.”

That’s the factor: unconscious programming is highly effective. Should you repeatedly inform your self, “I can’t do that,” your mind takes it as reality. However for those who begin shifting your self-talk—“I did an awesome job dealing with that scenario”—your mind rewires itself to imagine it.

It’s small (child steps are vital), it feels pure, and it’s not pressured (not like “I’m superb at every little thing” could be).

The bottom line is consistency—the extra you do it, the extra your mind builds confidence and resilience. As analysis reveals, self-affirmations enhance problem-solving talents and assist regulate stress.

So, make a dedication: each time you catch your self in self-criticism, instantly observe it with a real praise. Over time, self-praise will really feel as pure as respiratory.

3. Management the psychological photographs and phrases you employ

Analysis reveals that visualizing fearful situations prompts the mind’s concern response, reinforcing unfavorable feelings and expectations. Which means if you repeatedly think about your self stumbling by way of a presentation or being rejected, your mind treats it as actual, making anxiousness and self-doubt stronger.

As Marisa says, all of it comes right down to “the photographs you make and the phrases you say.” Whereas that could be true for less-than-ideal conditions, it’s equally true for the alternative: when issues go proper.

Take athletes, as an example. They use visualization to see themselves succeeding earlier than they even compete. Analysis reveals that mentally rehearsing an motion prompts the identical mind areas as bodily doing it. Which means picturing your self performing nicely can truly enhance your real-life efficiency.

So as a substitute of “I don’t wish to get on that aircraft; it’s going to crash” or “I don’t wish to go on this date in case I get rejected”… Swap it up: “I really like getting on a aircraft; I’ve obtained three hours to learn a ebook and eat some meals” or “I’m going to go on a date and I’m going to fulfill somebody superb.”

By doing this on repeat, you develop a progress mindset—one which sees challenges as alternatives and failures as studying experiences.

Man practicing positive self-talk while walking in nature, embracing personal growth.

Actual-life examples of self-talk transformation

Altering your internal dialogue is greater than a mindset shift. It’s a confirmed technique that has helped a few of the most profitable folks obtain greatness.

Should you begin telling your thoughts extraordinary issues about your self, you’ll quickly have a rare life.
— Marisa Peer, coach of Mindvalley’s Speedy Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program

Listed below are actual constructive self-talk examples that led to unimaginable breakthroughs.

1. Muhammad Ali repeated an empowering assertion

Muhammad Ali famously declared, “I’m the best,” as a part of his self-affirmation technique. He even launched a 1963 album titled I Am the Biggest.

His self-talk formed his confidence and psychological resilience, proving that saying constructive phrases on repeat is a type of self-empowerment.

2. Jim Carrey used visualization

Earlier than changing into one among Hollywood’s largest stars, Jim Carrey was broke and struggling. He wrote himself a $10 million examine for “appearing providers rendered” and repeatedly advised himself he would make it large.

This cognitive reframing helped prepare his mind to anticipate success.

3. Serena Williams used constructive affirmations

Serena Williams has shared her apply of utilizing constructive affirmations to take care of a robust mindset.

In a 2015 interview with attn:, she talked about, “I began utilizing affirmations because the passwords to my cellphone and my pc… You’ll be stunned what number of instances a day you log in and have a possibility to set off that positivity.”

4. Sooni Mohammed got here into self-acceptance

Sooni Mohammed‘s unfavorable self-talk made him concern failure, crushing his ardour and confidence. When he began Marisa’s Speedy Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program on Mindvalley, he almost stop, believing something lower than perfection wasn’t value pursuing.

However seeing others embrace imperfection gave him the push to maintain going. He realized he was already sufficient. And by shifting his internal dialogue, he discovered the braveness to maneuver ahead, free from the concern of not being excellent.

5. Jo-Anne Coetsee embraced self-love methods

Jo-Anne Coetsee, too, joined the Speedy Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program to enhance her self-talk and discover self-love methods, recognizing that this shift might rework her life. Impressed by Marisa’s teachings, she noticed how altering her internal dialogue might open doorways to new prospects.

She embraced the assumption that with higher self-messaging, something is achievable. By committing to this mindset, she unlocked a extra assured and empowered model of herself.

Knowledgeable-backed each day practices to grasp self-talk

Reworking self-talk is a each day apply, not a one-time repair. Listed below are just a few methods that can assist you grasp it and imagine in your self.

Your phrases make your actuality. Should you don’t like your actuality, change your phrases.
— Marisa Peer, coach of Mindvalley’s Speedy Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance program

1. Mindfulness by way of meditation

Meditation helps you observe your ideas with out judgment. With it, you develop the flexibility to pause, acknowledge, and redirect your internal dialogue, everytime you’re in a spiral of criticism.

“You in all probability know that individuals who meditate or do yoga have much less stress and fewer sickness than individuals who don’t,” Marisa factors out. In actual fact, research present that mindfulness can scale back self-criticism and enhance self-compassion by strengthening areas of the mind related to emotional regulation.

Which means with common meditation, you possibly can harness neuroplasticity to interrupt free from computerized unfavorable pondering and substitute it with a calmer, extra supportive internal voice.

Check out Marisa’s guided meditation to rewire your narrative:

Guided Meditation for Confidence and Self-Esteem | Omvana by Mindvalley

2. Self-reflection by way of journaling

Writing down your ideas helps you course of feelings, establish thought patterns, and reframe unfavorable beliefs. It’s highly effective for growing emotional intelligence, because it lets you see your internal dialogue in a tangible manner.

There are a number of strategies you should use, reminiscent of:

Day by day gratitude journaling. Write three stuff you recognize about your self every day.
Thought-reframing workouts. When a unfavorable thought seems, write it down and reframe it right into a supportive assertion.
Self-reflection prompts. Ask your self questions like, “What would I inform a pal who had this thought?”

“Whenever you write it and assume it and say it, you begin to imagine it,” Marisa explains, “particularly with repetition.”

Unleash your limitless

The best way you converse to your self is the inspiration of every little thing. And if you wish to change your circumstances, select higher phrases.

Marisa’s Speedy Transformational Hypnotherapy for Abundance webinar on Mindvalley is your probability to take again that selection. This free 84-minute session will help you expertise the legendary RTT™ designed to rewire limiting beliefs and reprogram your thoughts for fulfillment.

Earlier than this program, Nathan Dovey, a enterprise proprietor in Australia, felt trapped in unfavorable thought patterns and let others undermine him. “Now,” he shares, “I acknowledge the unfavorable downward spirals and I can instantly pull myself out and give attention to the constructive outcomes.”

It’s not solely labored for Nathan, however RTT™ is identical technique utilized by Olympians, CEOs, and world-class performers.

And it may well make it easier to, too… Serving to you break away from limiting beliefs and reprogram your thoughts to propel you ahead. As Marisa says, “Should you begin telling your thoughts extraordinary issues about your self, you’ll quickly have a rare life.”

Welcome in.

Supply hyperlink

Di [email protected]

Self Help Admin, the visionary behind SelfHelp247.online, is a dedicated advocate for personal growth and self-improvement. With a deep-rooted passion for empowering individuals to reach their full potential, Self Help Admin has created a comprehensive platform that offers valuable resources, insightful guidance, and practical tools for anyone seeking to enhance their life and well-being.### Early Life and Personal JourneyFrom an early age, Self Help Admin was intrigued by the concepts of self-improvement and personal development. Growing up in an environment that encouraged curiosity and lifelong learning, Self Help Admin was always drawn to books, seminars, and workshops that focused on personal growth. This early interest laid the foundation for a lifelong commitment to helping others achieve their goals and overcome challenges.Throughout their personal journey, Self Help Admin faced various obstacles and setbacks, each of which became a catalyst for growth and self-discovery. These experiences fostered a profound understanding of the struggles individuals face in their quest for personal improvement and inspired a desire to share practical solutions and motivational insights.### Education and Professional BackgroundSelf Help Admin’s educational background includes extensive studies in psychology, counseling, and personal development. Earning degrees and certifications from reputable institutions, Self Help Admin has a solid foundation in understanding human behavior, motivation, and the techniques that facilitate positive change.Professionally, Self Help Admin has accumulated years of experience working in various roles related to personal coaching, mental health counseling, and motivational speaking. This diverse experience has provided invaluable insights into the practical aspects of personal development and has helped shape the content and approach featured on SelfHelp247.online.The inception of SelfHelp247.online was driven by Self Help Admin’s desire to create a resource that combines expert knowledge with accessible, actionable advice. Recognizing the need for a platform that provides comprehensive support for individuals on their self-help journey, Self Help Admin embarked on creating a website that offers a wealth of information and tools for personal growth.SelfHelp247.online is designed to be a one-stop resource for individuals seeking to improve various aspects of their lives. The website features a wide range of content, including in-depth articles, practical guides, motivational resources, and interactive tools. Each piece of content is crafted with care, aiming to offer valuable insights and practical strategies that readers can apply to their own lives.### Philosophy and MissionAt the core of SelfHelp247.online is a philosophy centered on the belief that personal growth is a continuous and attainable process for everyone. Self Help Admin is committed to making self-improvement accessible and achievable, regardless of where individuals are on their journey.The mission of SelfHelp247.online is to provide users with the knowledge and resources they need to foster personal development and achieve their goals. This includes offering practical advice on overcoming challenges, setting and achieving goals, improving mental well-being, and developing effective habits. Self Help Admin strives to inspire and motivate individuals to take proactive steps toward creating a fulfilling and successful life.### Personal Touches and Community EngagementA hallmark of SelfHelp247.online is the personal touch that Self Help Admin brings to the content. Whether sharing personal anecdotes, offering motivational insights, or providing actionable tips, Self Help Admin’s genuine voice and empathetic approach resonate with readers. The goal is to create a connection with the audience and provide support that feels both relatable and encouraging.In addition to creating content, Self Help Admin actively engages with the SelfHelp247.online community. Through social media interactions, email newsletters, and feedback from readers, Self Help Admin maintains a dialogue with the audience, addressing their questions, and providing additional guidance. This commitment to community engagement has helped build a supportive network of individuals who are dedicated to personal growth and self-improvement.

Self Help 24-7 Admin

Me i am your go-to blog for daily inspiration, practical advice, and motivational resources to help you lead a more fulfilling life. Whether you’re looking to boost your productivity, cultivate a positive mindset, or develop healthier habits, SelfHelp247 is designed to empower you on your journey of personal growth and success. With expert tips, actionable strategies, and insightful articles, we provide the tools and guidance you need to tackle life’s challenges, achieve your goals, and become the best version of yourself—every single day. At SelfHelp247, we believe in the power of continuous learning and self-improvement. Our mission is to inspire you to take small, meaningful steps toward a more confident, balanced, and successful life

Tips on how to Rework Your Inside Dialogue for Success & Nicely-Being

What’s self-talk?

Constructive vs. unfavorable self-talk

Adverse self-talk: the way it holds you again