Do you bear in mind Sure Man? The Jim Carrey film the place he performs Carl, a man caught in a rut of fixed “no.”
He was in a rut, then goes to a self-help seminar and decides to say sure to all the things. Out of the blue, his world opens up, he learns to play guitar, takes flying classes, and even finds love. The premise is easy but profound—saying “sure” can remodel your life.
There’s a giant development proper now that’s mainly the antithesis of that film. You see it throughout social media and I’ve even written about it, “No is a whole sentence.” You seen the posts. The reminders to guard your psychological well being, set boundaries, and cease being a doormat for different individuals’s wants. And YES, sure, sure—I agree with this 100%.
I’ve been that individual. The one who stated “sure” to all the things as a result of I believed I needed to. As a result of I didn’t need to disappoint anybody. As a result of I believed my value was tied to how a lot I may do for others. And guess what? I burned out. Arduous. I spent years unlearning the assumption that saying “no” was egocentric and as an alternative realized the right way to prioritize myself. It was liberating, empowering, and truthfully, life-saving.
However right here’s the catch, whereas studying to say “no” is essential, don’t let it turn out to be a crutch. If you happen to’re not cautious, you will get so good at saying no that you just shut the door to alternatives that would change your life. Saying no can hold you secure, however saying sure? Saying sure can push you, problem you, and convey you experiences you by no means dreamed of.
The Steadiness Between No and Sure
Not each “sure” results in burnout, identical to not each “no” is a win in your psychological well being. Typically, saying sure is the bravest factor you are able to do. It’s terrifying. It’s uncomfortable. It’s the very last thing you need to do as a result of it requires vulnerability. Nevertheless it’s additionally the place the magic can occur.
If I hadn’t stated sure to uncomfortable, scary alternatives, I wouldn’t be the place I’m in the present day. I wouldn’t have began my enterprise, written a e book, or hosted occasions for tons of of individuals. I wouldn’t have grown into somebody who can confidently stroll right into a room filled with strangers, stand on a stage, and share my story. Each a type of moments began with a single sure.
Was it simple? Hell no. Was I scared? Hell sure! However right here’s what I’ve realized, concern is usually only a signal that you just’re about to do one thing significant.
When to Say Sure (and No)
I’m not saying you must throw warning to the wind and say sure to all the things like Jim Carrey’s character. Saying sure to issues that hurt your psychological well being, drain your power, or compromise your values is a no-go. However saying sure to issues that scare you, excite you, or stretch you in methods you didn’t know have been doable? It may well open doorways you by no means anticipated.
Right here’s how to determine the distinction:
- Does this align with my values? If it doesn’t, it’s a simple no. If it does, think about the potential development.
- Will this assist me develop? If the reply is sure, even when it’s terrifying, lean in. Development typically lives on the opposite aspect of concern.
- Am I saying no out of concern or necessity? Typically we are saying no to guard ourselves, which is legitimate. However different occasions, we are saying no as a result of it’s simpler than going through discomfort. Be sincere with your self.
Saying Sure Modified My Life
There’s a second I take into consideration typically, the day I stated sure to working a marathon. I wasn’t a runner. I had each motive to say no—it was laborious, it was out of my consolation zone, and I used to be afraid of failing. However I stated sure, and that call didn’t simply change my health degree, it modified how I noticed myself. I turned somebody who may sort out laborious issues.
It’s the identical with beginning my enterprise. I stated sure to alternatives that scared me: talking gigs, teaching individuals who intimidated me, placing myself on the market even after I felt unprepared. Every sure constructed my confidence, expanded my community, and created momentum.
The factor is, saying sure isn’t nearly reaching large milestones. It’s about letting life shock you. It’s about saying sure to that random networking occasion the place you meet somebody who adjustments your trajectory. Or saying sure to a visit that seems to be the precise reset you wanted. Or saying sure to attempting one thing new—even in the event you suck at it—simply because it’s enjoyable.
Your Life is Ready
Right here’s the reality, life isn’t going handy you alternatives on a silver platter when you sit safely behind your completely crafted boundaries. Typically, you need to stick your neck out and say sure. It’s important to threat trying silly, failing, or being uncomfortable.
Saying no is highly effective. It’s obligatory. However don’t neglect to say sure, too. As a result of one of the best issues in life? They will come from a no, a sure.